


Reverence & Remorse

by Spinswanda2319



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Doomed Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kissing, M/M, Mostly canon compliant with a few major changes, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Dean Winchester, Romance, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Sequel, Swearing, Tags May Change, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Whump, not beta read; we die like Winchesters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinswanda2319/pseuds/Spinswanda2319
Summary: Jack grapples with the big decision to become the new god when new demon troubles threaten to ruin team free will’s recent victory over Chuck and Lucifer. With tension brewing between Cas and Dean, past trauma threatening to overtake Sam, and a shocking discovery made about Claire, team free will is in for a hell of a ride.
Relationships: Alex Jones & Claire Novak & Patience Turner, Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Claire Novak, Jody Mills & Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Wayward sisters - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m baaaackkk! I’ll try to update somewhat consistently but if you read my last work, you know that’s not always the case LOL. This is a sequel to my previous work, The New God, but it can be read as a standalone. Mostly canon-compliant with a few major changes.

It took about a week for Billie to show up.

“What’s the problem?”

“Oh,” Jack jumped up from his bed, surprised to see Death again so soon after they had defeated Chuck. “Hello, Billie.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Billie waited but for what, Jack didn’t know.

Sighing, she laid it all out for him.

“You’re still here. With the Winchesters and their angel friend. Is there some unfinished business I should know about?”

Like a child who knows they’re in trouble but doesn’t know why, Jack shrugged and said, “We defeated Chuck, but we know there’s more work to do. I’m sure we’ll be going on a hunting trip any day now.”

Billie waved her hand in annoyance. “I don’t care what they do as long as balance is maintained.”

She met Jack’s eyes and continued, “You, however, have an important position to fill. I’m growing tired of waiting for you to take that responsibility.”

“Oh,” Jack’s stomach sank, “the new god. We decided—”

“We? Jack, this isn’t a choice. Despite what those boys might tell you, you’re the new god. There’s a new darkness. Amara may be gone but the Mark of Cain has found a new home...closer than you may realize.”

Furrowing his brows, Jack wondered who Billie could be referring to as she continued lecturing him.

“This is the way things have always been and will always be. Don’t keep me waiting long.”

Before she left, she added, “Next time we talk, I expect we’ll be meeting in your new office, understand?”

Before Jack could respond, she was gone. Now, he had more tasks he needed to add to his growing to-do list:

  * Find a way to get Castiel out of his deal with the Empty.
  * Make sure none of the bad guys attempt to take the role of the new god.
  * Find out who the new darkness is
  * Destroy the darkness?
  * Would it be easier for everyone if I was the new god?



Maybe he was a coward for refusing that position. After all, it was his fate to be the new god, wasn’t it? Frowning, Jack slowly sat down on the edge of his bed. The duvet was worn but soft, a human comfort. A place he had felt immense joy and love, but also sickness and pain. He didn’t want to leave his dads, his family. But maybe he had to. Castiel wouldn’t like this. 

And then a thought occurred to Jack. If he was god, then maybe he could void Castiel’s deal with the Empty.

It wouldn’t be easy. Jack shuddered as he remembered the pitch black, the echo of his racing heart in a place that was eerily quiet. Even Billie had to be careful, although she seemed to be on good terms with the Empty. If he became god, that would please her and then maybe she would help him save Castiel. 

It was worth a shot.

*****

“I’m sorry. I got a better offer.”

Deep down, Dean knew this to be true. Still, Amara lied to him and manipulated him. He couldn’t forgive that, so when he turned to face her, he was fully prepared to let her know he wasn’t sorry that her brother was dead. Until he saw someone else instead.

“Where’s Amara?”

“I’m sorry.” Castiel said, “I got a better offer.”

“What are you talking about, Cas?”

He stared at Dean, his expression blank. His eyes lingered on Dean’s lips before he met the hunter’s eyes and then, without any hint of emotion, he said, “You know what I mean.”

Turning away, Castiel left without another word. And Dean didn’t stop him, couldn’t stop him. It was as if that kiss never happened, as if all those goddamn years never happened, as if love didn’t exist.

In the dark and alone, Dean awoke from his nightmare. 

*****

The next morning, Jack tested the waters with Sam and Dean before approaching Castiel about his visit from Billie. After seeing Dean walk in, dark circles under his eyes and his hair disheveled, he decided he’d better wait until Dean had his coffee. So, he went to find Sam in the library.

Hunched over a book of lore with Eileen by his side, Sam’s forehead crinkled in concentration.

“Good morning!” He said as he gave a small wave.

Sam looked up and smiled.

“Morning.”

“Good morning, Jack.” Eileen also smiled.

“What are you looking at?”

Sam absentmindedly turned a few pages and then pushed the book aside.

“Oh, it’s nothing really–”

“Sam can never stop working.” Eileen interrupted, gently nudging Sam on the shoulder.

“A job?”

“No, I just want to be prepared in case…” his eyes went dark as he faltered but Eileen came to his rescue.

“You know how Sam is,” she signed, “Always prepared. How are you today, Jack?”

“I’ve been thinking…”

He took a chair and sat down next to Sam. 

“What if I decide to be the new god?”

Glancing at Sam, Eileen said nothing. Sam frowned. After a brief pause, he asked, “Is that what you want, Jack?”

Before he could answer, Dean stormed into the room.

“First Cas, now you?”

Sam shifted in his seat, “Dean–”

“What’s with all this back-and-forth, huh? You gonna go play god now after we decided we’re in this together?”

“Dean!” Sam stood up and laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “He was just asking. What’s this about?”

Shrugging him off, Dean simply said, “Forget it.”

And when Cas walked into the library a few minutes later, Dean left.

Their first exchange this morning was rather unpleasant, Castiel recalled. He knew Dean was having nightmares, and it was obvious he was avoiding him once again. 

“How’s the coffee? 

“Black. Bitter. Just how I like it.”

Castiel sighed, “Dean–”

“What Cas?”

He stared the angel down, his eyes heavy, steel doors. Impenetrable.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Oh, how Castiel longed for those windows.

“There’s a reason. I’m doing the best I can.”

Without a word, Dean set his coffee mug down and briskly exited the kitchen.

And now he was taking out his anger on everyone else too. Castiel’s heart twisted up inside him as a pang of guilt ravaged through him. He needed to make a decision. And fast.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares. Trauma. Angst with a side of fluff? Also angst with a side of angst lol

Breathing heavily, Sam struggled to keep his eyes open.

“Ah, ah, ah, no rest for the weary, Sammy. Not yet.”

Lucifer circled around Sam, who was chained by his wrists to the ceiling of the cage. Blood dripped from his mouth, the sound of the slow drops as they hit the floor grounded Sam in this moment. His introspection was cut short by a heavy blow to the chest; he grunted at the suddenness of the impact. No matter how much he tried to prepare himself for the pain, it always managed to surprise him. 

“I won’t say it. Never again.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and said, “Ugh, how many times are we gonna do this song and dance?” 

He stopped pacing and stood directly in front of Sam. 

“I’m a reasonable guy, I always offer you a deal, a severance package if you will, which you inevitably refuse.”

Sam scoffed at this, but held his tongue when Lucifer’s cold gaze lingered on him a few seconds longer than necessary. 

“Then, I torture you. Which, I gotta say, you’re pretty good at withstanding by now.”

Sam shuddered at those words, words that shouldn’t be true but somehow were.

“And then,” Lucifer eyed Sam up and down, “I pleasure you.”

“No.” A weak protest escaped Sam. 

“Oh yes, bunk buddy. I know you like it.”

He caressed Sam’s cheek, almost gently, until Sam turned away, and Lucifer tightened his grip on his prey’s chin. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Forcing down the bile that was rising in his throat, Sam met the devil’s gaze. In it, he saw depths and depths of depravity and jealousy and, though he hated to admit it, pain.

“And when that doesn’t satisfy you, I have to resort to threatening those you love.”

“Dean won’t–”

A hard slap to the face silenced Sam as the chains rattled above him.

“Dean, Dean, Dean. I’m tired of hearing that name. No, I’m not talking about Dean-o, or the constipated angel, or your motley crew of friends.”

A high-pitched scream rang through Sam’s ears long after the chilling sound had ceased. 

“I’m talking about your little girlfriend, Eileen is it?”

A surge of adrenaline flowed through Sam as he strained against his bonds.

“Don’t you touch her!”

Lucifer smiled slowly.

“Oh, Sammy, I already have.”

Frozen, Sam felt his vision start to go black.

“No!”

“Jesus, Sam, wake up!”

Practically hyperventilating, Sam jolted awake and saw three figures standing over him. 

“You with us, Sam?”

It was Dean. And next to him, Eileen. Cas, visibly concerned, looked on from the doorframe.

“I’ll give you some privacy.” 

Castiel closed the door as he left. He wanted to be sure Jack wasn’t privy to what was going on, especially since he was considering becoming the new god. He finally told Castiel about Billie’s visit and the threat of the new darkness. They decided the whole team needed to know about it, although they agreed to keep Jack’s possible decision under wraps for now. 

*****

Back in Sam’s bedroom, Dean and Eileen gave Sam time to collect himself before they probed him with questions. He sat on the edge of the bed, hands on his head, and stared blankly at the floor. Shame welled up in him when the reality of the situation sunk in. He had scared Eileen, forcing her to go to Dean for help, and woken up the entire bunker. He was weak. Sick. And all of the ugliness inside of him was on display for everyone to see. 

“Sam, you’re okay. You’re safe here.”

A pause.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Jesus, Sam,” Dean said, but softer this time, “we’re supposed to worry about you. _I’m_ supposed to worry about you.”

“Need anything?” He said as he turned to Eileen.

“No, thank you.” She signed.

“Sam?”

“I’ll be okay, Dean.” He forced a smile while absently rubbing his left palm. 

Dean sighed but accepted his answer. He left the two of them alone, trusting that Eileen could handle this.

“Sam.” Eileen slowly took a seat next to Sam.

“I’m sorry.”

She gently took Sam’s hand in her own and waited for him to reciprocate her touch before she did anything else.

“I’m afraid, Eileen.”

He turned to her as he said this so she could read his lips.

“Of...of you seeing...well, seeing this.”

“I’m no stranger to trauma.”

This earned a small laugh. But then, he grew serious once more. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Eileen. Not again.”

There were tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Her heart ached when she saw him this way. If only he could see himself as she saw him: a kind and strong person, a loving and brave man. 

“I’m scared too.”

As he wrapped her into a hug, Eileen had to force herself to remain a beacon of calm as he held her. But inside, her heart raced in fear as she thought about losing Sam. 

She was more afraid than he knew. 

*****

After Dean left, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Sam wasn’t being honest with him, but at least he wasn’t completely pushing him away. But he had Eileen now too. And Dean had no one. He felt his face grow warm as he thought this. What a selfish bastard. His brother was on the verge of losing it again, and he was _jealous_.

“How’s Sam?”

Ah, the last person he wanted to see.

“He’ll be okay. Thanks for checking on Jack.”

“Of course.”

Dean nodded and continued to walk down the hall to his room.

“Dean.”

He stopped but didn’t turn to face the angel. 

“There’s something you don’t know...and I can’t tell you, but…”

“Not now, Cas.”

“Dean–”

“Good night.”

As he watched the hunter walk away without a second glance, Cas feared he’d never see Dean Winchester smile at him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it so far! Next chapter is complete but needs tweaking. Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jody calls Dean looking for help with a demon case in Sioux Falls. The hunt begins.

“It’s Jody. They need help with a demon problem in Sioux Falls.”

Dean announced the plan as everyone gathered in the library. 

“Sounds simple enough.”

Dean gave Sam a pointed look. “When is it ever simple, Sammy?”

Ignoring his brother’s dour question, Sam got up and asked, “So, when do we leave?”

*****

The ride to Sioux Falls was more awkward than anyone anticipated. Dean drove with Jack in the passenger seat and Sam, Eileen, and Castiel squeezed into the back. At first, Sam and Eileen chatted quietly, including Jack, Dean, and Cas once in a while. Only Jack seemed to reciprocate the gesture. They played I Spy and a rather innocent round of Would You Rather? before the atmosphere became stale once again. When Cas suggested they play the license plate game, Dean turned up the radio. No one said anything for a while after that. Sam thanked whatever was out there that at least it wasn’t completely silent.

When they finally arrived, Jody came outside to greet them.

“Boys, welcome!” 

“Jody, it’s good to see you.” Dean nodded and embraced her.

Next, Sam greeted her with a hug and then introduced Eileen. Jack also gave Jody a hug, a wide smile on his face.

Castiel nodded and tried to follow everyone else into the house, but Jody wouldn’t let him get away without a hug as well. 

“Well, I suppose some introductions are in order.” Jody said. “Girls! The boys are here!”

Soon after Jody had called them, Alex, Claire, and Patience bounded down the stairs.

“Hey, guys!”

“Hey, Alex, how’s it going?” Dean nodded.

Patience smiled quietly and Claire remained behind the two girls. 

“Okay, I don’t know who’s met who and I don’t feel like trying to remember, so here we go! I’m Jody, this is Alex, that’s Patience, and Claire’s around here somewhere…”

“Back here.”

“Yup, and…” she gestured for Dean to continue introductions.

“Oh, me, uh okay, I’m Dean, that’s Cas and Jack over there.”

“Hello!” Jack waved.

“I’m Sam, and this is Eileen.”

“His girlfriend.” Dean smirked as Sam went red. Eileen took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before signing and saying, “It’s nice to meet everyone.”

Jody smiled but then quickly got down to business. “Alright, we have a problem. Your kind of problem.”

“Demons.” Claire interjected.

Sam frowned. “Strange, Rowena should have them under control.”

“Rowena?” Alex asked.

“Whatever,” Claire said, “but we definitely have a demon problem. People are disappearing and we talked to a witness that said they heard dogs howling the night their brother went missing.”

“Sounds like someone’s cashing in on demon deals.” Dean said. 

“They don’t do that anymore,” Jack added, “At least, that’s what Zack told us.” 

“Who’s Zack?”

Castiel spoke up, “The crossroads demon we met in Missouri. The Patchwork Community Center case.”

“I don’t know, Cas. Sounds like a classic demon deal to me. Besides, demons lie. Even you should know that.”

He gave him a pointed glare before continuing the conversation with everyone. Jack could tell the words pained the angel even though he tried his best to hide it. He would have to make a visit to heaven soon. But first, one last case. 

*****

As Claire prepared for the hunt ahead, Patience lingered by her door. She frowned and wouldn’t look Claire in the eye.

“Will you and Alex be okay holding down the fort?”

“Oh,” Patience was caught off-guard, her eyebrows raised in surprise, “no, that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“What’s up?”

A pause. And then, “You can’t go.”

Claire turned to look at her. “Why?”

“I had a vision. It wasn’t super clear this time, but I saw you…”

“It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Taking a deep breath, Patience continued, “In the vision, you’re covered in blood. And your eyes have evil in them. I don’t know what it means, but it’s bad.”

Claire patted Patience on the shoulder and reassured her she would be fine.

“Plus, the whole gang’s here. We’re in good hands.”

Sighing, Patience nodded but said, “Just be careful, okay?”

“Promise.” Claire smiled.

But as she turned away, her expression grew dark as she tugged at her sleeves. _Your eyes have evil in them._ What did that even mean? She kept itching her right arm; a strangely shaped bruise popped up about a week ago. If it was bothering her this much, maybe it was more than a bruise. Better get that checked out. But first, the demon hunt. That was more important right now. 

*****

After asking around and exploring the scene of the death Claire informed everyone about earlier, Sam and Dean concluded that they were, in fact, dealing with demon deals. Jody called Donna for back-up and left Alex and Patience behind after much reassurance from both of them that they would be fine and available if the team needed anything.

Rowena left Sam a voicemail soon after they moved onto phase two: hunting things.

_Samuel, I expected to hear from ye after my demon horde practically saved the day a few weeks ago. But nevermind that, dearie, I’m calling to give ye a warning: there’s a faction of demons who haven’t taken kindly to my reign in hell. Perhaps more than one group. I’d tell ye in person, but it’s not safe. So do what you boys do best and save the day! And Samuel? Be careful, dearie._

The set-up: a crossroads demon deal. Although Sam and Dean didn’t like it, they decided it would be best if they let the others take the lead; the last thing they needed was a demon getting spooked and running off to tell their friends about the infamous Winchesters.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Dean asked Jody one last time before retreating to the woods in case they were needed. 

“We learned from the best.”

Meanwhile, Sam asked Donna the same question. 

“Yeah, you betcha. Dontcha worry, Sam.”

“Everyone ready?” Claire asked after Castiel finished digging his box in the ground.

Sam and Dean receded into the dark forest while Jody, Donna, and Eileen flanked the sides. Claire and Jack remained by Castiel’s side as he waited for the crossroads demon to show up.

As if appearing out of nowhere, a demon emerged from the shadows.

“Ah, my favorite duo, Sherlock and Holmes.”

“We’re not detectives, Zack.”

Zack frowned but didn’t comment further on the reference, “So, what’s the issue? No more deals, remember?” 

Claire stepped forward. “You sure about that?”

“There’s a whole party here, isn’t there? Care to introduce me to everyone?”

“I suggest you wipe that smirk of your stupid face.”

Cas nudged Claire, a warning in his voice, “Claire.”

The smile slowly faded from Zack’s face. “Guess you found us out. Boys!”

Suddenly, a dozen demons rushed into the crossroads, quickly overwhelming the group. As Jody and Donna threw holy water on one group of demons, Eileen fended off two demons on her own before Castiel, brandishing his angel blade, rushed to assist her. 

As quickly as the demons had appeared, Sam and Dean bolted out from the outskirts of the woods and fought the demons attacking Jody and Donna. Meanwhile, Jack smited a few demons but was suddenly knocked down from behind. Above him loomed a hulk of a demon with a terrible smirk on his face as his eyes flickered to black.

“Bye, bye, angel boy.”

Before the demon could land a blow, his eyes widened in shock and he crumpled to the ground, his eyes flashing a brilliant orange color. Behind him stood Claire.

“Thank you—”

In one fluid motion, Claire swiftly sprinted to help Eileen and Castiel, who were being assaulted by more demons. Almost like a choreographed action movie, she bobbed and weaved through the mass of limbs and weapons and took down the demons as if she had done it millions of times before. Blood spattered her face as the others looked on, too stunned to do anything. As soon as it was over and the last of the demons, including Zack, fled, Sam and Dean hurried over to see why they had run away.

In the center of the road, Claire kneeled before the bodies that had once housed hell strewn across the dirt in heaps.

“What happened? Claire?” Jody rushed over. Cas followed suit.

When she didn’t respond, Jody shook her violently, “Claire? Claire!”

With hooded eyes, Claire finally met Jody’s worried gaze.

“Where am I?”

Castiel gently pried Jody off of Claire’s shoulders and waited until he got Claire’s attention before he asked, “Let me see your arm, Claire.”

“Why?” she instinctively tugged at her right sleeve.

Tenderly, the angel forced Claire to roll up her sleeves as Jody and the others looked on in confusion. But Dean had an awful feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach. It couldn’t be true, could it? He met Castiel’s eyes as the angel nodded in confirmation.

Claire had the Mark of Cain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a third consistent update, my dudes. Please feel free to leave a comment if you’re enjoying the story or something. I’d love to hear from you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Claire bond while Jody takes control of the situation. Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Eileen investigate another lead, but things go south real fast, so Castiel must make a decision.

Red. All he could feel was red. And the smell...like iron and death and sweat. Castiel’s bruised and bloodied face still haunted his dreams. 

“Dean!”

Dean snapped his attention to Sam, whose hazel eyes were filled with worry.

“I’m fine,” he lied, “but we need to get Claire home.”

He felt an aching in his chest as he longed to confide in Sam but talking about the Mark with him brought back painful memories. He could talk with Castiel, but he was still angry with him. After all these years, to kiss the angel that had raised him from hell and rebelled for him only to completely shut him out? No one knew about that side of Dean. Well, maybe Sam did but they never talked about it. 

No, he wouldn’t talk to Cas about this.

After they got back to Jody’s place, Donna filled in Alex and Patience about what had happened to Claire. Initially hysterical with worry, Jody wore her facade of calm and delegated tasks to everyone.

“Sam, Eileen, go help Donna out. If anyone’s injured, Alex will help, but she needs support. Jack, you go with them too. Castiel, Dean, you’re with me.”

Sam and Eileen nodded as Jack hesitated; Sam gently nudged him to come along. Cas and Dean helped Jody carry Claire to her bedroom. Once Jody wiped her face clean and made sure she was comfortable, she kissed Claire on the forehead and then signaled for Cas and Dean to step outside.

“What the hell is happening to her?” She whispered in the hall. She left Claire’s door ajar in case something happened. 

“The Mark of Cain. She’s the new darkness.”

“What?”

“Cas, let me take this one.”

The angel simply nodded and went to talk to Claire. He sat down at the edge of the bed. 

“Claire?”

“I don’t feel like talking right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m just tired.”

Castiel sighed softly and thought, _No, I’m sorry for everything._

“I’m here if you need me.” He said as he left the room to let her rest.

Meanwhile, Jack slipped away from the commotion on the first floor and crept up the stairs to talk to Castiel, but he found him, Jody, and Dean involved in an intense conversation down the hall. So, he snuck into Claire’s room without them noticing.

She was bundled up in her comforter; the lamp by her bedside emitted a soft glow.

“I don’t want to talk right now, Jody.”

When no one responded, she added, “Castiel, Dean, whoever you are, just go away. Leave me alone.”

“Um, thanks, for earlier.”

The covers rustled to reveal a puffy, pink face. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else. Yeah, no problem.”

Jack noticed the dark marks under her eyes and asked, “Have you been crying?”

“Rude, but I’ll let it slide. You Castiel’s kid?”

Standing there awkwardly, Jack silently berated himself for asking, as Castiel called it, a “personal question.”

Seeing his confused expression, Claire sat up and laughed.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I can tell.”

Jack took a minute to process this.

“Oh...and you’re Castiel’s daughter?”

Claire frowned, “Sort of. Jimmy Novak was my father.”

“Oh...I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, water under the bridge. So what’s your deal? Are you an angel too?”

Jack stepped closer and gave a small smile, “I’m a nephilim. Half-angel, half-human. Kelly Kline was my mother and...well, Castiel, Dean, and Sam are my real dads.”

“And I thought I had daddy issues.”

Jack tilted his head in confusion.

Claire laughed again, “You’re just like him.”

And she was just like him as well. The blue eyes, the soft laugh. Suddenly, Jack couldn’t stand what was happening to her. Or Castiel. He knew the only reason Dean tolerated the angel right now was because of Claire’s situation. And she was the darkness all because he was a scared and selfish child who avoided his cosmic responsibilities. 

“Come with me. To heaven.”

“Isn’t that a little weird? I mean, we’re practically siblings, am I right?”

“You have the Mark of Cain. You have to be the new darkness to restore balance and that means I have to be the new god.”

Claire’s grin faded, “What are you saying? You know what, I don’t want to talk to you either–”

She stopped when she saw tears streaming down Jack’s face.

“I don’t know what to do. Everyone keeps saying I don’t have to go up there, but if I don’t, people will keep getting hurt.”

Slowly, Claire peeled the covers off and stumbled out of bed. She fluffed the pillows and smoothed the blankets and then sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to her.

“I’m lost, so fill me in. Like I said earlier, we’re practically siblings, right?”

*****

As soon as everyone settled down, a faint howl caught Alex’s attention.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Donna asked.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened as Sam signed to Eileen what had been said. 

“Sorry,” Alex laughed nervously as she finished patching up some minor cuts on Donna’s arm, “I’m just a little spooked I guess.”

“No wait...I hear it too.” Sam said.

Hellhounds.

“Donna, will you be okay keeping an eye on the girls?”

“No problem, but dontcha need some help?”

“We need someone to keep Claire safe while we’re out. And…”

Donna smiled, “You betcha, Sam.”

“Thanks, Donna.”

A small tug at Sam’s elbow drew his attention away from Donna and to Eileen.

“What’s going on?”

She led him to the living room. Once they were alone, Sam swallowed roughly before explaining, “Hellhounds.”

Eyes wide, Eileen tried not to show her panic so plainly. She knew that where there were demon deals, there were hellhounds, but she didn’t think she’d be facing one again so soon.

“I understand if you want to sit this one out.”

She shook her head, her lips quavering but she resolutely responded, “I know. But I’m coming with you.”

Then, Dean and Cas came down the stairs.

“Hellhounds. We ready to go?”

“Yup, Donna will stay here with the girls.”

“Jody wants to keep an eye on Claire, so she’ll be here too. Where’s Jack?”

Sam turned to Eileen and then back to Dean, “He was with us a minute ago.”

“He’s with me. We’re coming too.”

Dean sighed, “No come on, kid, you need to rest.”

Claire scoffed and said, “Like that’ll do me any good. Plus,” she turned to Jack, “Jack thinks it’s a good idea for me to come along, right?”

“Oh, well, I–”

“No,” Jody emerged at the top of the stairs like a king overlooking his disobedient subjects, “definitely not. We’re dealing with some serious stuff here and I will not have you going out and pulling another stunt like you did earlier.”

“But Jody, it’s not my fault I have this stupid mark or whatever the hell it is.”

“I know that, but ignorance is no longer bliss. Let’s be safe about this. Jack will stay here with you. Isn’t that right, boys?”

Mouths agape, Sam and Dean stared at Jody. The last time she took charge like this had ended in an uncomfortable conversation for all parties involved. But no one would dare defy Jody when she put her foot down like this.

Castiel graciously interceded, “Yes, Jack will watch over Claire while Sam, Dean, Eileen, and I deal with the hellhounds.”

“Ugh, whatever!” Claire stormed past Jody into her room, and Jack hesitantly followed. 

Rubbing her temples, Jody finally looked up and said, “Call us if you need anything. Please.”

“Of course.” Castiel said as Sam and Dean nodded in agreement. 

And then they were off. 

“Please be careful.” Jody whispered as she watched them go.

***** 

Sam squeezed Eileen’s hand as the impala raced toward the source of the noise; the howls grew louder and louder as they approached their destination.

Castiel directed Dean toward the malicious energy he sensed. Neither man spoke of what was happening between them; instead, they focused on the task at hand.

Finally, they arrived at a small, isolated bungalow, and Dean and Cass stepped out of the car. Sam turned to Eileen before following.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

“Let’s go.”

Damn, she was stubborn. But then, Sam thought, he’d probably do the same thing: forge ahead and leave no time to think. So, he followed her lead. Besides, he wouldn’t let anything happen to Eileen. Not again.

As the piercing shrieks of the hellhounds filled the air, the group carefully approached the property. Dean signaled for Eileen and Sam to check the back and for Cass to follow him to the front. 

The house was quiet save for the incessant barking growing closer and closer. Dean scoped the room, gun at the ready; Castiel followed closely behind him, his angel blade drawn. Dean stilled and motioned for Cas to stop when he heard someone softly sobbing. He met the angel’s gaze and seemed to say _You ready?_ without a word passing through his lips. 

Castiel nodded; he knew Dean inside-out, perhaps better than the hunter knew himself.

Quickly entering the room with his gun drawn, Dean swept the area before addressing the woman in the center of the room. She was middle-aged with long, brown hair speckled with gray streaks. 

“Hey, you alright?”

“Oh, what do you want? Who are you?”

Dean put his arms out in a placating gesture after taking his finger off the trigger.

“We’re not here to hurt you. Me and my friend here,” he gestured to Castiel, “we’re here to help.”

Castiel’s heart fluttered when Dean acknowledged him. It felt familiar. Safe. He would have to tell him. After Jack was settled, after he was sure everyone would be okay, he would…

A series of gunshots sounded, breaking Castiel from his thoughts of Dean.

“Sam!” Dean shouted and rushed outside toward the back. Before he left, he hurriedly told Castiel to stay with the woman. He brandished his angel blade and turned to the woman; her eyes were wide and her lip trembled.

“Please don’t let them hurt me.”

Meanwhile, Sam shot at the hellhound as he and Eileen ran toward the house. As he turned to land another shot, he felt a searing pain on his leg as another hound tore into his limb. Screaming in agony, he shot wildly at the source of his pain until he heard a whimper. 

“Sam!”

Sam faintly wondered if Dean was here. And where was Eileen? He had to get to Eileen.

“Eileen!” He tried shouting for her but his voice sounded distant and foreign. But she couldn’t hear him. Of course she couldn’t hear him! He weakly swatted at the hands grabbing him, dragging him away. 

“Dean? Eileen?” 

“I’m here, Sam. I’m here.”

Blinking slowly, Sam saw that he was inside, and Eileen crouched in front of him, bandaging his wounds. Dean stood above them with Cas beside him.

“The hounds are gone but there’s a horde of demons right behind them.”

“How many?” The angel asked.

“Too many. How’s she doing?”

“Oh, she’s scared but–”

Castiel turned to the woman, but the rocking chair was empty. 

“She was there a minute ago.”

Suddenly, a figure leaped onto Eileen, knocking her to the ground. Rushing into action, Castiel came from behind, grabbed the woman, and threw her to the ground. She snarled and her eyes flickered to black. That was all the evidence Castiel needed. 

He stabbed the demon with his angel blade, but before she died she laughed and said, “It doesn’t matter if I die, you’re surrounded. See you in hell!”

“Dammit!” Dean yelled, “It was a set-up. Fucking hell…”

Before he approached Dean, Cas checked on Eileen.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” she gave him a small smile, but her eyes shimmered with tears as she turned to Sam. 

“Sam?”

“Hey, I guess I didn’t need to worry about you.” 

Wincing from the pain, he groaned as he shifted to an upright position. That’s when he noticed her eyes – wide and filled with tears.

“Hey, I’m okay. We’re okay. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” 

He looked away, ashamed of his weakness.

“Don’t say that.” Eileen gripped his hand tight. 

“Sammy, how you doing?” 

“I’ll be fine, Dean, but I won’t be much help in a fight now.”

“It’s okay, Sammy.”

Dean looked out the window and then hurried to the kitchen to get salt. Castiel followed. 

He looked at Dean, frantically opening cabinets and shoving pots and pans aside as he searched for salt. When he found some, he didn’t waste time and got to work, making a salt line across the windows. Even in danger, Dean was beautiful. Before he left the kitchen, Castiel stopped him. 

“Dean, wait. There’s another way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying the story so far, and let me know what you think! Next chapter will be super angsty...you’ve been warned. 😈


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel makes a drastic decision to save the one he loves, his family, and his friends. Dean grapples with the consequences. 😭😭😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the inconsistent updates begin. 🙈  
> FYI, I used dialogue from the confession scene in 15x18 because it’s just so damn beautiful.  
> Also, if you haven’t read my previous fic, The New God, Castiel and Dean shared a passionate kiss before saving Sam, but Castiel backed off because he didn’t want to be truly happy and taken by The Empty. So there are some references to that in this chapter.  
> Let me know if you’re enjoying it so far! AKA should I keep going lmfao

“Cas, move.”

When the angel didn’t budge, Dean’s frown deepened and he brusquely moved past him. Castiel followed as Dean fortified the living room.

Castiel quickly inspected his hand - he’d nicked himself earlier when accosting the demon - but he’d live. Finally, Dean moved to place salt along the front door; all other avenues were taken care of. Castiel looked behind him at Sam and Eileen. Although he would be okay, Sam was pale and still hadn’t moved from the floor. Eileen, ever-vigilant, remained by his side, gripping his hand perhaps a little too tightly. But Sam didn’t say anything; he smiled softly, especially when Eileen wasn’t looking at him. That vulnerability, that _love,_ Castiel longed for it.

“Everybody’s gonna die, Cas.”

Castiel turned to Dean. He was whispering now and his gaze was distant. 

“Sam, Eileen...Claire.” His voice cracked when he mentioned Jimmy’s daughter. “I thought it’d be different after Chuck, after Lucifer, but…”

He looked toward Sam, eyebrows furrowed and eyes glistening.

“I hate what they did to him. To us. And then seeing Claire like that...I felt...I felt like I wanted to kill again, needed to kill, because that’s all I know how to do. I can’t stop it.”

The angel took a breath. This was it. They would have to be okay after he was gone. He had already hurt Dean more than he intended to, so it was time to come clean.

“Dean, the other way. What I haven’t been telling you. When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

Instead of the angry reaction he expected, Dean stared at the angel and asked, “You what?”

“The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever.”

Dean paused and then asked, “Why are you telling me this now?” 

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like.” The angel kept his eyes on Dean, never faltering from the hunter’s perplexed gaze. “I never found an answer because the one thing I want...it’s something I know I can't have.”

Memories of his first kiss with Dean flashed before his mind. How he wished he could kiss him for eternity.

“But I think I know,” he continued, tears springing to his eyes, “I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

Dean didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. The first kiss was miraculous enough, so why had Cas been so hesitant afterward, so reluctant? A slow, seeping feeling of dread threatened to overtake Dean entirely. 

“What are you talking about, man?”

Castiel stepped forward, the distance between him and Dean no longer than the length of a demon blade, “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that's...that’s what drives you, that's who you are.”

Dean frowned, not liking where this conversation was heading. 

“It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth.”

He grabbed Dean’s hand, gently took the salt from him, and tossed it aside. When he continued speaking, he didn’t let go of Dean’s hand.

“You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.”

He smiled, but he was crying now. Briefly, he considered that this moment was the most human he had ever felt. 

“You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell...knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack...I cared about the whole world because of you.”

His voice rose in pitch and a tear rolled down his cheek as he choked out, “You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Dean asked quietly. 

“Because it is.”

There was so much Dean wanted to say and needed to explain, but the demons were closing in. He could hear them approaching, and even if Sam wasn’t out of commission, they didn’t stand a chance. All of this anger he’d harbored, especially toward Castiel when he refused to reciprocate any feelings after that fateful kiss, he wanted to let it go. He tried to tell Cas he was wrong, he was angry, but now…

“I love you.”

So it was true. Dean felt it in his bones for years, but his heart always pushed the idea away. The closest he’d felt to true love was his first love, Cassie, and his time with Ben and Lisa. But in order to protect them, he had to leave them behind. But Cas knew the life, just like Eileen, and didn’t he encourage Sam to choose her? Someone who understood the highs and lows, the nuances, of what they did? Kissing the angel was the closest he’d felt truly happy, so why couldn’t he say it? He loved Cas. He always had. 

But instead of saying so, all he could manage was, “Don’t do this, Cas.”

Suddenly, an oozing, black mass began to formulate near the front door. Eileen helped Sam up from the floor and they braced themselves for the oncoming onslaught.

But Dean knew they were expecting another visitor besides the demons at the doorstep, “Cas…”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

“What?”

Shoving him aside, Castiel flung open the door and exited the building as the demon horde, screaming and snarling, rushed forward. But before they could maim the angel, the Empty fully materialized and wrapped its black tendrils around Castiel, like a noose of darkness. In the process, the Empty took the demons in Castiel’s vicinity. Dean rushed out the door, a bloody handprint on his shoulder from where Cas had pushed him. He watched as his angel and the unlucky demons disappeared into nothing.

Stunned and unable to react to any oncoming attacks, Dean hit the ground hard when a demon pounced on him. Although the Empty had taken the majority of the demon mass, there was still a large number to reckon with.

Instinct kicked in and Dean fought off his attacker, but inside, he felt empty. Worthless. In a way, it would be easier if the demon ended him here and now. A piercing scream ricocheted through the air and awakened Dean from his somber thoughts. Because the demon was distracted as well, Dean managed to unsheathe his demon blade and thrust the knife into the center of the fiend’s chest. He scrambled to his feet and saw Jack trying to hold back Claire, but with the mark, she was too powerful, even for him. 

She shrugged him off and ran into the center of the field. She was a Valkyrie riding into battle, her long, blond locks flowed behind her and her blue eyes flashed like ice-cold death. She screamed again as the demons apprehended her, but they were no match for her. She cut them down as if she were plucking daisies, their lifeless forms wilting to the ground. 

Finally, Jack reached her and this time, she didn’t pull away. Instead, she sunk to the ground in agony, blood coating her porcelain hands.

At that moment, Sam and Eileen stumbled out of the house.

“They’re all dead.” Eileen said.

“Dean?” Sam tried to reach his brother, but his limp prevented him from getting far without Eileen’s assistance.

Dean was distantly aware that his brother called his name, but he felt like he was trapped in a tunnel with no way out, the lights fading from either side, enveloping him in complete darkness. 

He succumbed to it. As the world went to shit and his family and friends got hurt, he could no longer put up a front of hope and optimism.

“Cas…” 

Falling to his knees, Dean locked his misty eyes on the spot where he last saw his angel.

“I love you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack reveals his decision to Sam and Dean. The brothers have mixed reactions to the news.

It had been about a week since Claire convinced Jack to sneak out of Jody’s place in order to help the Winchesters, Cas, and Eileen defeat the hellhounds and demons. After watching Claire succumb to the mark and seeing Cas get taken by the Empty, Jack buried his feelings of guilt, unworthiness, and fear and started to make preparations for his departure from the bunker.

Still, it was easier to plan saying goodbye than actually doing it.

“Sam?”

Hunched over piles and piles of books, Sam wearily looked up from his spot in the library.

“Hey, Jack.”

“Where’s Eileen?”

“Oh, I think she’s cooking something in the kitchen. Keeps her mind off of...you know…”

Jack cleared his throat, “Yeah, so um…”

Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong.

“You know how when you and Dean said bye to Claire?”

Sam furrowed his brows, his full attention now on Jack.

“That wasn’t just because she was going back with Jody. And, well, I’m saying goodbye now too and…”

Sam rose from his chair and put his arm on Jack’s shoulder. He searched his gaze.

“You’re leaving.”

A sob escaped Jack and he leaned into Sam’s shoulder. 

“I have to. And Claire, she agreed to come with me. So there would be balance.”

He thought back to that conversation.

“This was what Patience was talking about. My eyes have evil in them. And you can get it out.”

“What?”

“You said you could help me. In heaven.”

“Oh, well, you’d still be the darkness, but there would be balance if I was…” he swallowed roughly, “if I was the new god. With you there by my side, balance would be restored.”

Claire looked at the floor and then around her room. The stuffed animal cat Castiel got her for her 18th birthday lay lopsided on her bed, surrounded by a mountain of pillows. Pictures of her and Jody and Alex were displayed next to the group photos of her and the girls and the Winchesters and Castiel. And then, hidden under papers and books, where only she knew, was the note she had written Kaia after her death. She knew it was lame and cliche, but after writing it, she felt better. And it reminded her of the girl who could walk through dreams. 

She let out a long sigh and then said, “Is it the only way?”

Jack’s tearful gaze confirmed the answer.

“Yes.”

In Sam’s embrace, Jack wept. And Sam let him. It was quiet. When his sobs began to lessen, Sam pulled back and wiped his son’s tears away.

“You’re strong and brave, Jack, don’t forget that.”

“I’ll miss you.”

Sam tried to hold his own tears back, “I know. Me too. But you’ll visit, right?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.”

Sam wanted to say more, but he didn’t because he knew he would break down. And he had to be strong for Jack right now.

At that moment, Dean came sauntering into the library. His eyes glassy and face unshaven, he looked startled to see the tender moment unfolding in front of him. 

“Oh, um…”

“Dean,” Jack glanced at Sam and he nodded encouragingly, “I’m going to heaven. With Claire.”

Numb to anger, Dean simply nodded.

“And...I made one last deal.”

“What?” Sam asked, alarmed.

“Billie wants order. And I can restore that. But I made her promise to save Castiel or I wouldn’t do it.”

At the mention of Castiel’s name, Dean perked up, “What did she say?”

“She agreed...but this will be the last freebie. No more deals, resurrections, anything like that. Just this last time.”

“Where is he?”

“Oh, I think he’s in heaven now.”

“You haven’t seen him yet?”

Jack smiled sadly, “No, but l tell him you say hello when I see him.”

Laughing, Dean said, “Well, tell him to get his feathery ass down here ASAP.”

“Dean, he’ll be staying in heaven. He’s an angel. Order needs to be restored and maintained and if it isn’t, Billie won’t hesitate to send him back to the Empty.”

“Oh.”

His angel was safe. And Dean was glad, he really was. But he selfishly wished he could see Cas one last time. 

“Thank you, both of you. I love you.” Jack smiled and stepped back. “I need to pick up Claire and then we’ll be going.”

“Bye, kid. Don’t go too crazy up there.” Dean said as he playfully clapped Jack on the back.

Sam smiled, attempting to hide his sadness at losing another family member.

Jack nodded and then waved, “Goodbye.”

Sam and Dean stayed still and silent even after Jack disappeared, off to his next adventure.

“You good?” Dean finally asked.

Sam nodded. 

They went their separate ways. Dean felt an ache in his chest, thankful that Cas was alive and safe but regretful that he would never kiss those soft lips ever again. He supposed it was for the best. Anyone who ever loved Dean was always at risk for a fate worse than death. Maybe this was the way it was always meant to be. Sam, on the other hand, also felt glad that Cas was safe and he knew he would watch over Claire and Jack. But it was still a loss. And he felt like three pieces of his heart had been stolen. 

That night, Dean dreamt of a white dove. He sang a beautiful song and then flew away, no matter how much Dean protested or how many times he tried to catch him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but I’m back on schedule...maybe...Anywho, buckle up for the next arc because it’s about to get angsty and sad lmfao


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, things are getting dicey. 😈

_Ring_. _Ring._

This was the third time Sam tried calling Jody. 

_Ring._

Donna wasn’t answering either.

 _Hi, this is Sheriff Jody Mills. I can't answer the phone right now_ –

Sam hung up. Why weren’t they answering? He needed to ask where Claire was. She’d been gone for…

Pausing, Sam tried to collect his thoughts as he stared at the bookcases lining the bunker. Something wasn’t right. He knew where Claire was; she went to heaven with Jack and they saved Cas. A surge of sadness crested over him, like a wave rising and receding from the shore. 

Gone. They were gone.

Sighing, Sam reminded himself that he was being selfish; they were safe and that’s all that mattered.

“You know who’s not safe?”

The hairs on Sam’s arms stood up and his breathing began to accelerate. He blinked and waited, refusing to turn around. 

“The hellhounds’ new chew toy.”

A horrific scream echoed through the air causing Sam to whip around and look his worst nightmare in the eyes.

“Lucifer...what did you do?”

The archangel threw his arms up in the air, feigning surprise, “You got me! It’s me, Luci.”

He sauntered closer to Sam, grinned, and then added, “You know, I never really understood what dear old dad saw in your little girlfriend. Personally, I’ve always preferred Jessica.”

Something snapped in Sam. He rushed forward and grappled with the devil; they tumbled to the ground as the hunter got a punch in before Lucifer easily overtook him.

“Playing hard to get, huh?” He whispered as he pinned Sam to the ground.

The fight quickly left Sam. “Please, just let her go.”

Fuck, he was pathetic. But after everything he’d been through, it was harder and harder to find the courage to keep going, the strength to carry on.

Lucifer leaned in close until Sam could feel his breath on his ear, “No.”

Another scream echoed through the bunker and tore at Sam’s soul. He cried out in anguish, “Please, I’ll do anything! Just stop hurting her! Please…”

“Hmmm…” Lucifer shifted his weight off of Sam and then roughly jerked him to his feet. 

“I could...but you have to do something for me in return.”

Those eyes. No matter how many times he saw them, they never failed to evoke otherworldly fear into Sam’s very core.

“Sam? Sam!” Suddenly, Lucifer’s face contorted as if he was fraught with worry.

“Sam!”

He awoke to Dean’s concerned expression.

“You with us, Sammy?”

All he could do was nod.

Dean turned to Eileen and Sam’s gaze followed. He gasped when he saw a bruise forming on her right cheek.

“You good?” Dean asked.

She signed yes and gave a small smile when she noticed Sam looking at her.

“Why don’t you go get some ice in that? I’ll be out in a minute.”

“It’s okay. Thank you.”

After she closed the door and left the brothers alone, Sam asked, “Did I–”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Dean said as he sat down next to Sam on the bed.

They said nothing for a while.

“I’m sorry. I know how much he meant to you. I miss him too.”

Dean cleared his throat before responding, “He was–is–family, of course I miss him.” And then he quickly shifted the conversation back to Sam, “I’m worried about you, man. These nightmares are becoming a nightly occurrence again.”

He eyed Sam fidgeting with his left palm.

“Sam?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah...yeah I know.”

Seeing that the worry still hadn’t vanished from his brother’s face, Sam reassured him, “I’ll be okay, Dean. I just need some time.”

“Okay.” Dean conceded.

They both knew it was a lie.

The next morning, Sam got up early, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and went out for a jog to clear his head. He had earbuds but only wore one; he felt better when he was aware of his surroundings. But even the music couldn’t shake away the dark thoughts that invaded his mind. The bunker felt so small and empty without Cas and Jack. And Eileen claimed she was fine, but watching her say that with a bruise like a dark, purple vine flowering rotten seeds made Sam sick with guilt. 

Suddenly, he was aware of how far he’d run from the bunker. He meant for this to be a short run, but he supposed his body matched his mind: racing to nowhere. He turned when he heard a rustling in the nearby woods. No one was there. Hesitantly, he removed his earbud. Heart pounding and heavy breathing. Birds chirping. Leaves crackling. 

He nearly tried attacking the squirrel that came bounding out of the woods and then laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of him punching a defenseless forest creature. Shaking his head, Sam turned away and put his earbud back in, making sure to keep one out. Sure, he was paranoid but better be safe than sorry. As he selected a song, he stiffened when he heard another noise coming from the woods.

_It’s probably just another squirrel. So much for clearing my head._

The next thing Sam thought was pure instinct as a force struck him from behind, causing him to hit the ground hard.

_Get up, get up, get up!_

As he scrambled to find his footing, a heavy boot kicked him in the chest; he fell backwards and struggled to breathe. The boot stayed squarely on his chest, pinning him to the ground. As Sam’s vision cleared, he followed the boot up to the body and then the face of his assailant.

“Sam Winchester. I’ve been dying to meet you.”

A tall, dark-haired man sneered down at the hunter. And then his eyes turned black.

In the kitchen, Eileen took note of their inventory. They needed eggs, they’d be out of milk soon, maybe some cereal?

“Hey,” Dean tapped Eileen on the shoulder.

She startled slightly but smiled when she saw it was only Dean.

“Oh...sorry.”

“It’s okay. What’s up?”

“You seen Sam?”

“Not since this morning. Why?”

“Ah, nothing. It’s just, whenever he goes jogging, he’s usually back by now.”

Eileen turned back toward the cabinets and then said slowly, “Do you think he’s okay?”

Dean waited for her to face him, and when she finally did, Dean had enough time to plaster a smile on his face. 

“Yeah, yeah he’s fine.”

Dean’s phone rang, saving him from this awkward moment.

“Phone. Might be Jody.”

Eileen nodded.

“Hello?”

“Dean? Dean Winchester?”

“Yeah, who is this?”

“We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting. However, you’ve killed many, many of my friends. And I don’t like that. And since Rowena doesn’t seem to care, I’ve taken matters into my own hands.”

A sinking feeling formed in Dean’s gut, but he wouldn’t show it. 

“Rowena’s the best damn queen hell’s ever had. You got a problem cause I killed your demon pals? Cry me a river.”

The demon laughed, a deep, unsettling sound, “You may want to watch your tongue, boy. You see, I have something very precious to you.”

Dean swallowed roughly, dreading what was inevitably going to happen next. 

“Sam? Have anything you want to say?” A pause. “No?”

Suddenly, the sounds of his little brother screaming like a feral animal filled Dean’s ears. 

“Don’t you hurt him! What do you want?”

Silence.

“What do you want!” Dean screamed desperately.

“For you to suffer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay and shorter chapter. Hope you like it!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Eileen get an unexpected visitor. Sam goes a bit cray. Angst.

He didn’t know how much more he could take. Every time it seemed like they had pulled through, something else would happen. Something bad. Something worse.

Something like this.

“Dean? Where’s Sam?”

Eileen’s question revealed that she knew the answer would be awful but her eyes held a sliver of hope, hope Dean was about to crush. 

“He’s...they’ve got him.”

Dean slumped into the kitchen chair as Eileen gripped the counter, her knuckles stark white. Tears fell from her glassy but determined eyes.

“We have to save him.”

Silence.

“Dean?”

Finally, the hunter looked up. The dark circles under his eyes highlighted the lines etched across his face, aging him way beyond his 40-something years.

“How?”

She didn’t have an answer to that.

Suddenly, a voice broke through their morbid desperation. 

“Hello, dearies.”

Before Dean could react, Eileen grabbed a kitchen knife and swiftly approached the intruder. 

“Eileen, wait!”

With a flick of her wrist, the surprise visitor sent the knife flying and stopped the brave woman in her tracks. Dean ruefully realized Eileen couldn’t hear him warning her from behind. He rushed between the women and placed his hands out, creating a barrier between them.

“Hold on, hold on!” He turned to Rowena and said, “Give us a minute.”

“I don’t have all day.” 

Dean ignored her and faced Eileen.

“She’s a friend okay? Rowena, the uh...well–”

“The queen of hell. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Rowena smiled warmly and then said mischievously, “Samuel sure picked a fiesty one, didn’t he?”

Eileen frowned but her posture relaxed when she asked, “Aren’t you a witch?”

“Yes, when I was gracing the earth with my majestic presence. But you can’t live forever, dearie, and now I’m raising hell.”

She stepped forward like she owned the place.

“Now, I’ve got a wee problem with some of the demons in hell.”

“Some?”

Rowena ignored Dean’s sarcasm as she fixed herself a drink.

“Most of them backed down after the stunt your angel pulled.”

His first instinct was to punch Rowena in the face, but Dean curled his fists and let her keep talking. She was their friend after all. But her words cut deeper than she could ever imagine. The former witch continued.

“But a few key players remain bitter. I can distract them long enough for you to retrieve Samuel.”

“You know where he is?”

Taking a sip from her drink, Rowena smiled sadly.

“We don’t have much time. We need to leave now.”

Eileen’s lip quivered but she nodded and turned to Dean. 

“Okay.”

They were going to save Sam. They had to. With Rowena on their side, surely they’d have an advantage. Dean didn’t want to consider the alternatives.

  
  


Sam awoke to the smell of damp concrete, sweat, and iron. He groaned as he shifted in his seat; he was chained by the arms and legs, the cruel metal already leaving marks on his raw wrists. An all too familiar laugh echoed in his ears; Sam snapped to attention.

“Looks like you’re in quite the predicament here, Sammy.”

Desperately, Sam reached for his left palm, but he couldn’t relieve his anxiety because of his bonds. He resorted to mumbling instead.

“You’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not real–”

Lucifer’s cold, blue eyes stared straight into Sam’s terrified gaze.

“I don’t know, I seem pretty real, don’t I?”

Refusing to listen, Sam squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. 

“You’re not real, you’re not real–”

A hard slap to the face momentarily disoriented the hunter.

“Shut up.” 

It was one of the demons, though not the one that had subdued Sam earlier. Lucifer sucked his teeth in and commented, “Oh, he didn’t like that.”

“What do you want?” Sam asked the demon or the vision of Lucifer he saw, he wasn’t really sure who. He wasn’t really sure it mattered.

“I said,” the demon strode forward and grabbed Sam by the chin, “shut up.”

Jerking away, Sam remained quiet–for now.

Then, the demon with the dark hair and the suave smile approached his captive.

“Ah, Sam Winchester, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

Sam sharply turned to look at Lucifer when he laughed and said, “This guy? Sam, you’ve gotten sloppy! This demon’s nothing.”

The demon paused but said nothing and regarded Sam with a quizzical look. Once Sam met his gaze again, the demon continued.

“I’m Adrammelech, and I’m the new king of hell.”

For once, Sam had to agree with Lucifer, “You? The king of hell? Yeah, right.”

For this remark, Sam earned a punch to the face. Although he felt the pain blooming and then lingering throughout his body, Sam remained unphased and spit out blood before turning to face Adrammelech.

“Watch your tongue, boy. You won’t be so brave when I take over hell and make you watch as all your friends die.”

“What did you do?”

Adrammelech raised a brow and said, “Oh, nothing much. I just let your brother know he has a package to pick up.”

The demon towered over Sam and grinned mercilessly, “And packages around here are known to be damaged if not picked up in a timely manner.”

Without warning, Adrammelech gripped him by the leg, the one still healing from the hellhound bite, and squeezed. Sam clenched his jaw but refused to scream. 

Adrammelech laughed, “Playing the stoic hero are we? Let’s remedy that.”

Then, he punched Sam repeatedly in the face until he cried out. The hunter felt numb and let his head fall limply on his chest when the demon finally let up his assault.

“Uh, Adrammelech?” Sam couldn’t be sure, but the demon who appeared in his peripheral vision looked familiar.

“What?”

“There’s been a Rowena sighting. Vakos and Olmar felt her presence outside of hell, somewhere near here, actually. Lebanon.”

Lebanon? They must still be close to the bunker. Esbon maybe? 

“Good...draw her out and lay out the terms.”

“As long as we get demon deals back for us crossroads demons.” He paused. “And if she doesn’t agree?”

Adrammelech smiled and turned back toward Sam.

“Then we get to have a little fun.”

Sam’s eyes widened as he felt his pulse quicken. Lucifer sighed and faked a yawn.

“Crazy Sam is sooo eight years ago. Good luck, bunk buddy.”

The vision flickered out of existence. Although he never thought he’d have to do it again, Sam prayed. 

_ Please, Jack, if you can hear me, protect Dean, Eileen, Rowena, Jody, Donna, and the girls. No one needs to get hurt. Just...please…” _

__ A figure flashed before Sam’s eyes. Someone who shouldn’t be there anymore. Someone he just saw disappear.

The devil smiled crookedly and whispered, “I love it when you beg.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you on that cliffhanger for so long! There are a few more chapters left. A lot of angst coming up, get ready. 😈 I hope you’re liking it so far!


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